But How?
by Lizzie Reid
Summary: We shared secrets, secrets that nobody should ever have too keep, secrets that can not be forgoten, the memories will never go away, we were best friends, but when you left, everything went wrong, and i was all alone, but you came back, but how?
1. How Could I Forget?

**Disclaimer: I wish I did own Criminal Minds, but sadly, I don't, but I do in my own mind, and they all love me! but outside of my mind, they have no clue who I am, I know sad.**

**Ok, this is my first attempt at a story, like ever! Well I did try before, but I failed, miserably, and I am kinda young, still in middle school, so I am really bad at spelling at stuff, so ya. Anyway here is my pathetic attempt, hope you like it!**

It was a normal day with a normal case that we just finished, it was around 9:30, when we all left and Morgan offered to drive me home. I accepted gratefully. The car ride there was silent, I liked it better that way. As Morgan pulled up to the entrance of my apartment building he wished me goodnight and I did the same. I got up to my apartment, unlocked the door, walked inside and placed my messenger bag on a chair. I walked up to my kitchen and put a bag of popcorn in the microwave, got changed, got my popcorn, and curled up in bed with a good book. A book that I haven't read in a while, I know every word of the book already, but I still like to re-read them sometimes. As I opened the book, a little piece of paper fell out. I picked it up curiously. This isn't my handwriting. I thought as I red-

_**Happy birthday Spencer! I have no clue what this book is about, maybe you can tell me when you finished reading it in like 5minuts! Ha-. I just went to the book store and found the biggest book I could find, I really hope you like it! **_

_**Love From Your Best Friend--Rebecca**_

I just stared, 'how could I forget this' I thought, as a sing tear splashed on the book. I could not stop thinking about those words 'love', 'your best friend', 'Rebecca', oh my god, Rebecca, I have not thought of her in such a long time, I miss her so much. Rebecca, the only one that knew, that knew everything about me. We shared secrets. Deep secrets. Secrets that no one could ever know. The only true friend or just plain friend for that matter, that I ever had, sure I would like to count Morgan, and JJ, and Hotch, and the rest of my team, but I know that they don't consider me a friend, just some skinny awkward kid, too young to be in the FBI, and a walking encyclopedia that says random annoying facts that nobody cares about. I know that they don't consider me a friend.

I cried myself to sleep that night, thinking about the memories that we shared, the secrets, the songs, the laughter, the tears, the blood, the pain, the love. I thought about the night that I had lost her, the night that I messed up so bad, that it cost her, her life. I could have saver her, I could of helped her, but I didn't, I was too late, she was gone, gone forever. When she called me asking for help, I ran over to her, at the school under the bleachers, where she was lying covered in blood and tears. I called for an ambulance, and when they got there, they had to shock her, she didn't make it, they took her in the ambulates to take her to the morgue. The medics told me they were sorry, and left, left me all alone. I ran home crying, and when I got home, my dad was there, he was mad, really mad, I remember, he hit me harder than usual. Afterwards, I crawled into bed, bleeding, bruised, and broken. Usually, I would have called Rebecca with our walky-talky's and told her what happened, she would understand, and she would tell me that everything would be alright, that she was there for me and always will be, that nothing would separate us. But not tonight, tonight she was gone, we had been separated, by her father, he took her from me, he took away my reason to live, Rebecca said everything would be alright, and she was right, it would be , but only if she was around, but she was gone, so that was my cue, I guess I have to leave to. But I fall into my bed, close my eye's and fall asleep, before I fix that problem.

I wake up, to my alarm clock, 7:30, it red. I got up, took a shower and got ready for work, with Rebecca on my mind the entire time, thinking about the problem that should be fixed, the problem that I could fix and save everyone the trouble, that was my only thought as I road the subway to work.

**Oh my god I know! Its terrible! But I have this idea, and I know how the story goes! ugggg! should I continue? Is it worth staying up until 2am?will people read it? Constructive criticism welcome! plz review! Tell me what you think!**


	2. How?

**Ok this is my second chapter, and I am really bored and I am trying to delay doing my homework! so ya, here it is, even though nobody is going to read this. Don't own Criminal Minds, so don't sue me.**

I got off the subway, and headed towards the BAU. When I finally got there I walked through the doors and saw Morgan, and he saw me, an expression of concern and worry came over his face. I hadn't realized it at the time, but my eye's were red and puffy, and it looked like I had been crying. "Hey kid, you ok?" he asked, his voice full of concern. "ya, I'm fine" I say avoiding his gaze. "you know you can always talk to me" he said. Maybe he does care? Maybe he is my friend? No, I cant go down that road again, not again, never again. He will leave, and I know it, they always do, but it will be because of me, not them, they will need to leave, they will want to leave, they have to leave. "Ya I know, thanks Morgan" I saw with a shy smile. He doesn't seem satisfied with that answer, but drops it.

It was mostly paperwork today, until about 12, when Hotch called us into the conference room. "OK" he says not showing mush emotion as usual. "Our unsub, is in los Vegas, where he is rapping and killing girls from the ages of 7 through 12" we go over all the basic information. "wheels up in 10" he says. I grab my go-bag, and dome coffee for the road, and we head off.

We are all on the plain, briefing on the case, I try not to think about Rebecca, I'm half focused on her and half on the case. "so there was one survivor from this mans attack. She is at the hospital now, she just woke up from a coma, so she will be very confused, me, Morgan, and Reid will talk to her, Rossi will work on the geographical profile, and JJ and Prentiss will talk to the victims family's." Hotch informs us. On our way to the hospital, I manage to get Rebecca out of my head.

We walk up to the hospital, and up to the desk. The nurse points us in the direction of the doctor, we meet up with the doctor, and he fills us in on her condition. "she has been in a coma for about 14 years, she was emitted when she was 9, so her mind is like a child, she is very scared and she wont tell us her name, maybe you can calm her down, we explained everything to her, but she is still scared". we all nod, and walk inside.

She was beautiful, she had long brown hair, and light blue eye's, she was thin, and nervous looking. "hey" Morgan says in a quiet and genital voice. "its, Ok, we're not going to hurt you, do you think that you can answer some questions for us? We're detectives from the FBI, this is SSA Hotchner" he said as he motioned towards Hotch," I am Agent Derek Morgan" he points to himself. "and this is SSA agent Doctor Spencer Reid" he says, gesturing towards Reid.

She just stares at Me, eye's wide. "can you tell us your name? "He asks still in that calming tone. She just continues to stare at me. And then she gets out of bed, and walks up to me, i just stares at her with a curious look on my face. And then she smiles. A beautiful smile, a smile that looks familiar, too familiar, no wait it cant be, is it…

"My name is Rebecca" she says.

**Oooooh! So ya…thanks to the 1 person who reviewed!!! I love you!!! I'm glad someone reads my story! Anyway, I now these are short, but the next one's will be longer, I just thought this was a good place to end it…clifee! And its about 4am am I am not tired, and I have school in 3 hours and I cant sleep! Another all-nighter! Uggg!**


	3. This Is Our Business, Not Yours

**Thx for the comments people! Yay people read my lame story! It looks better in my head, the problem is writing it. And I am not a doctor, so this is not going to go into detail, but I know the majority of stuff, and I'm not going to Google it, because I don't want to get the wrong thing, I'm only using what I know, sorry. So here it is, tell me what I'm am doing wrong(and don't say everything, cuz I already know that). Comment! Its makes the world spin!(kinda)**

I blinked. No, this isn't possible, I watched you die, I tried to save you but I couldn't, it was my fault, all my fault. My eye's stared to fill with tears. "Hey Reid you ok?" Morgan asks. But I don't answer, I just keep staring in disbelief. "Reid?!" Morgan says louder. 'no" I whisper, barley autobal. "you got so old" she says, with a hint of a laugh and tears in her eyes to. Morgan just stares at us, wondering 'what the hell is going on?!'

"so" she says still close to crying. But than she cracks, she bursts into teats, and runs up and grabs me, kissing me all over my face. This makes me cry too, thinking about how much I missed her, and how I ever forgot her, but I never really did, she was just pushed to the back of my head, along with other secrets. Morgan and Hotch just stare at each other, and then us. "ummm" says Hotch, awkwardly. "you too know each other?" this just makes us cry harder, pulling us closer together, like it was a lifeline.

"So" she manages to choke out through all the tears. "I want to hear the song you wrote for me". By now we have both stopped crying, almost. "I know you did, you always write a song for everything". she says with a shadow of a smile on her face. Morgan gave a little giggle. "Reid write a song, ya right" he laughs. "what is it, like opera in a different language or something"? Rebecca just stares at him, 'how could he be laughing? He was just like everyone else' she thought 'and Spencer works with him, has to spend everyday with him? I wonder what else he says'.

Morgan cot the look she was giving him, and stopped laughing immediately. "I've missed you" I said putting my hands around her waist. "ya, I'm sorry I could not be there for you" she says apologetically. "don't be. I'm just sorry I let you almost die" Morgan and Hotch gasped. "Ummm, Ok I'm glad that you too have had your little reunion, but we really need to work on this case. Reid, maybe you should sit this one out, since your, well, a little… emotionally attached." He said, a little, unconformable. "No, No I'm not" I say, removing my hands away from Rebecca's waist immediately. "I'm sorry sir"

'Well ok, if your sure." he says, hesitantly. "I am sure, thank you" I say, putting my head down, I can feel Rebecca's eye's on me, piercing me like a knife. "So" Morgan says. "can we hear the song to. "No" says Rebecca quickly. "this is our thing, so stay out". 'wow' I thought 'she is just like she was when we were kids, I hope she stays that way'.

**Oh my gosh, why is everyone so nice? Seriously you are like the nicest people ever in the world! If anyone I knew, red this story they would laugh so hard, and tell me how much of an idiot I am and how bad it is, but everyone here is so awesome! So it was a 2 hour delay today, so I got to wok on it. I don't know why it took me so long to write this (really short) chapter. I just got stuck. Ill probably do another one tonight. I REALLY don't want to do my homework, so I am delaying it as much as I can. Okay, enough, talking about nothing. Sorry.**

**P.S. I Know this really isn't how Morgan would act, but i got really stuck, and it was the only thing i could think of (i know pathetic). so sorry.**


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